Review: Click by Ori Brafman, Rom Brafman

Rom and Ori Brafman

Title: Click, The Magic of Instant Connections

Author: Ori Brafman and Rom Brafman

Published: 2010 by Broadway Books (Random House)

Pages: 190

Genre: Non-Fiction, Psychology

Find it at: Amazon

My Rating: 3.5/5!

Goodreads Blurb!

You know the feeling. You meet someone new—at a party or at work—and you just hit it off. There is an instant sense of camaraderie.
 
In a word, you “click.”
 
From the bestselling authors of Sway, Click is a fascinating psychological investigation of the forces behind what makes us click with certain people, or become fully immersed in whatever activity or situation we’re involved in.   
 
From two co-workers who fall head over heels for each other while out to dinner and are married a month later (and fifteen years later remain just as in love), to a team of scientists who changed the world with the magic of their invention, these kinds of peak experiences, when our senses are completely focused on the moment, are something that individuals—and companies—strive to achieve. After all, when you’re in the “zone,” you’re happier and more productive. Why is it that we click in certain situations and with certain people, but not with others? Can this kind of magical connection be consciously encouraged?  Is there a way to create such peak experiences, whether on a date or in your job?  
 
According to Ori and Rom Brafman, there is. In a powerful, story-driven narrative that weaves together cutting-edge research in psychology and sociology, the Brafmans explore what it means to “click”: the common factors present when our brain and senses are fully engaged. They identify five “accelerators” that increase the likelihood of these kinds of magic connections in our work and relationships.
  
From actors vying for a role on a popular TV series to police officers negotiating with hostage takers, we learn how one can foster an environment where we can click with another person and shape our thinking, behavior, and emotions. 
 
A fascinating journey into how we engage with the world around us, Click will transform our thinking about those moments when we are in the zone and everything seems to fall into place.

My Thoughts!

Close your eyes for a few seconds and think about one person in your life with whom you share a special bond, someone you met and 'clicked' with. Most probably instantly. Someone whom you saw and realized you have something in common, if not something in common, you'd feel a sense of being connected to them somehow. There is/was at least one person you thought of, right? Probably you're best friends now, or that's how you felt about your partner when you first met, or your colleague you get along well with, or even the security guard you wish a 'Goodmorning' to every day. This book is all about such connections, the basis behind this wonderful phenomenon, numerous studies and their results, real-life examples, reasons and logic as to how we connect and how we can make them stronger. 

The book starts with making the reader aware of this 'magic', describing in detail the euphoric sensation we experience when we click with someone and the pleasure center of our brain lights up! This makes the reader first build a connection and 'click' with the book itself, before we read any further. I remember when I began reading, I found it so amazing that I had immediately texted another reader-friend that I'd love this book! I could relate to it from the beginning. How cool is that? :D  Supported by numerous fantastic examples, the book explores the topics of vulnerability and how it builds trust, the power of proximity, resonance, similarity, environment, some people who are naturals and how this quick-set intimacy is capable of bringing out the best in us! 

"In the magic of the moment, we tend to see the person with whom we click in the best possible light. He or she, in turn, sees us in a similar light, and being seen that way makes a world of difference."

This is one of the best topics covered by the book, which has the most practical use for the most common of readers. I did have people in my mind with whom I connect well with while reading and when I got to this topic, about how we are better able to bring out the best in ourselves and in each other because we're more motivated to perform well, I realized how true it is! It works so neatly at the subconscious level that you wouldn't even realize it's happening. And when you realize how big a potential it has, it makes you want to work even harder because you're the most comfortable with those whom you click with and you can explore without any inhibitions. One of the best examples about this "Personal Elevation" in the book is that of Peter Mathews and Linda Schele who met in Planeque while wandering around in the jungles; Peter, a 21 year old working on a project involving identifying Maya hieroglyphics, Linda, an impulsive girl on an impromptu Christmas trip to Mexico to study Maya art (they met at a conference in Planeque). They clicked as soon as they met and in the last couple of hours after the three day conference was about to end, they decided to have a go at cracking the ancient writings, which experts had been trying to decipher since decades! Within those two hours in close proximity, they felt so charged up and elevated that they actually cracked the codes! They interpreted the writings successfully and broke two hundred years of history. How awesome?

Now, for a reader, the book's writing is quite simple and easy to understand. Even though it has a psychology background, there are no specific roll-your-tongue terms used and anyone with a non-psych background can read and understand the concepts easily (although I admit. Since I have studied a bit of it in college, it was pretty much easy to read in a flow without looking up any terms! :D And I have a similar class to the one described in Stanford's MBA program. *feels like Bond* ). The examples are plenty and very well explained, though in some places you might feel like they're going on and on about the same thing. Sometimes it feels repetitive, but I guess the concepts overlap because they're not really homogeneous. 

Recommended: This is a beautiful book if you want to understand the concepts of interpersonal relations and their practical use in the most simple ways. It doesn't even feel like a burdensome, educational book. It's fun and the examples would help you connect. Personally I found myself looking at my relations with others and to understand why I don't click with certain people. And how I could improve on it! 

Thank you Random House publishers for this book! :)  

Classic Talk # 2: The Old Man and the Sea

Ernest Hemingway

Title: The Old Man and The Sea

Author: Ernest Hemingway

Written in: 1951, published in 1952

Find it at: Amazon

Accredited with: The Pulitzer Prize for Fiction in 1953 and cited as contributing to the Nobel Prize for Literature to Hemingway in 1954!

Pages: 144

"It's silly not to hope. It's a sin, he thought". This line from the supposedly outstanding short story by Ernest Hemingway, The Old Man and The Sea perfectly summarizes what was one of the most pivotal themes for me in this book: hope. 

Set in the seas of The Gulf, this is a story about an old man named Santiago, a boy Manolin and a big marlin (a kind of fish). It's a story of the old man's struggle as he sets out to fish after 84 days of no luck, full of hope and determination. Because of family pressures, Manolin is unable to accompany him, although he cares deeply for the old man and helps him get ready for the journey by bringing him fresh sardines for the bait and getting the equipment ready. The old man sails off in his skiff and it is after hours of baiting and waiting when finally he feels the line get stiff. Finally he's caught some fish, although he might have been a big fish because he started swimming on its own course, taking the old man and the boat along with him. The story is about this journey, about the man in his aged demeanor and his habit of talking to himself (because he's alone now), about how he struggles to catch this big fish, bigger than the skiff itself! 

The old man's thinking to himself, talking to himself and in this one can observe how different it might have been had the boy been with him, as the old man also observes. They could have taken care of everything together, but as it was, he was being rowed by the fish far into the sea for almost three days. Most of the writing is internal dialogue, the man talking to himself or to the sea or to the fish and thinking back to his small shack in the small village where he lives, thinking of the boy and thinking of life. What I found so.... peculiarly cute (I'm sorry if this word doesn't fit the actual literary understanding, but this is just my perspective) was how Santiago respected the fish too. He understood that as a fisherman he has to kill them, but that's the way it is to be. Natural. "He is a great fish and I must convince him, he thought. Thank God they are not as intelligent as we who kill them; although they are more noble and able".

Isn't the cover gorgeous?
I have this one! :D

Santiago offers hope, like I mentioned before. He's tired and his hands are bleeding and cramped, his shoulders ache and he had to eat raw, distasteful fish, but he still holds on to the big fish because that is what is meant for him to take. Even afterwards he's battling back home, fighting more creatures of the sea, yet he's hopeful. Apart from the hope angle, I found parallels to his philosophical thinking. "I do not understand these things, he thought. But it is good that we do not have to try to kill the sun or the moon or the stars. It is enough to live on sea and kill our true brothers".

With all these thoughts for company, he's contemplating if what he has done and been through at the sea was right and if he was worthy of it. This is one thing I was sad to see. From how I interpret it, when the old man continuously thinks it was wrong for him to go so far out, it says if you have stepped out of the zone society has created for you, even if you don't feel you can't do it, if you fail you would think you did the wrong thing because what you did wasn't expected from you. I don't know, that's just one way I interpreted. Although yes, it does show him as a victor in the end, it being a "victory in defeat" so I guess it makes up for it. "But a man is not made for defeat. A man can be destroyed but not defeated."

This is a beautiful story, albeit a short one. That's what makes it simple too, I guess. I loved the way it was written, although at some parts I thought it was repetitive, but they turned out to be the old man's thoughts and I suppose it is supposed to reflect the way he was thinking. I got this book sometime last year but got around to reading it now. For my 2013 Reading Challenge, I had decided to read up classics, but I've managed to read just three of them. :| I hope to make up for it this year itself! Classics are just so.... classic! ;)

  

PS- This book has been made into a movie twice! Once in 1958 and once in 1999. You can watch the 1999 movie on youtube here.

Lock, Stock and Over a Barrel by Melody Carlson

Melody Carlson

Title: Lock, Stock and Over a Barrel (Dear Daphne # 1)

Author: Melody Carlson

Published: June 2013 by B&H Publishing Group

Pages: 304

Find it at: Flipkart / Amazon

My Rating: 4/5!

Blurb from the cover!

With high hopes, Daphne Ballinger lands her dream job at The New York Times. But it's not long until writing about weddings becomes a painful reminder of her own failed romance, and her love of the city slowly sours as well. Is it time to give up the Big Apple for her small hometown of Appleton?

When her eccentric Aunt Dee passes away and leaves a sizeable estate to Daphne, going back home is an easy choice. What isn’t easy is coming to terms with the downright odd clauses written into the will.

Daphne only stands to inherit the estate if she agrees to her aunt's very specific posthumous terms -- personal and professional. And if she fails to comply, the sprawling old Victorian house shall be bequeathed to . . . Aunt Dee’s cats.

And if Daphne thinks that’s odd, wait until she finds out an array of secrets about Aunt Dee's life, and how imperfect circumstances can sometimes lead to God's perfect timing.

My Thoughts!

This book was a very different Melody Carlson that I read, the previous reads being Harsh Pink and Deep Green from the Truecolors series. Though this book doesn't have teenagers as protagonists, all these books are categorized under the label 'Christian', because all of them have this underlying theme relating to God, prayers and living life as a believer in the Almighty. It is subtle, not too overpowering and comes into the picture only towards the end when the protagonist and characters need support. Lock, Stock and Over a Barrel is a contemporary story of a young woman, Daphne Ballinger, living in New York since the past 12 years, writing wedding stories for The New York Times. She belongs to a small town called Appleton, but moved to New York with big dreams, including climbing to the top of the ladder as a journalist. Just that she seems stuck and unable to do much, mostly because of her cautious personality. She'd had her heart broken once while in New York, which makes her overly cautious and an 'avoider'. 

When she learns that her Aunt Dee in Appleton has passed away, she decides to move back into Appleton, especially after learning that she's the heiress to everything her aunt owned. This is when she discovers how little she truly knew about her aunt. Aunt Dee is a mystery with secrets left behind, known only to the lawyer and now, Daphne. She isn't really all she made people believe. She was much more than that, and it is truly fascinating. I mean, as it mostly pertained to literary stuff, I felt really excited about those prospects, about the possibility of stuff like that actually happening. So cool! The writing style is descriptive and simple. Not too simple, but it seems to have a nice flow and ring to it that you get used to the way you're understanding the story without any intermissions in between. I like books that successfully recreate the aura of a place I haven't seen, so that I can easily imagine and 'be there' as if I'm a close observer. This book does all that beautifully! I would almost like to live in a place like Appleton. Such a sweet town! 

I liked all the characters, who seemed to have clear distinctive personalities, so that you can try hazarding guesses about their actions. Fun people! Except for Ryan, Daphne's heart-breaker-ex-lover, who is such a snob! Sometimes I did wish Daphne would stop being so under-confident and be clearer about her feelings. And it was pleasant to see how she grew as a mature person in the book. I didn't find myself rooting for any one guy to be her future love interest, though. They all seemed nice enough, but not the perfect kind of guy I wished she had. True, that's what the book wants to convey, it's not all dreamy-dreams in reality. Sometimes you gotta settle for what's available. Maybe. Then there's this wonderfully mysterious Dear Daphne column, the secret to which I can't divulge here, but I found the questions and answer-giving very enjoyable and meaningful. This book's got some solid meaning! 

Overall, the essence of the book is simple. The life of an ordinary girl who wants to fulfill her dreams, who gets heart-broken, who gets the opportunity to revive her life again, who feels confused because she's human and she's got to deal with many different personalities and trying to figure them out in light of the situation, dealing with secrets and making decisions, being given tremendous responsibilities, wanting to feel loved, then understanding and realizing that life is meant to be lived, whatever the circumstances, it is important to focus on being happy and believing that God would take you there, that everything has its own course, that things take time to settle sometimes, that it's important to have faith. There is no over-dramatization of any sort, even though I felt it seemed a bit underplayed. The blurb focuses on Aunt Dee's secrets and the book gives off a vibe that it'll be oh-so-exciting! For me it was slightly less exciting than I had anticipated, mostly because the 'secrets' thing is not the essence of the book. 'Life isn't perfect but how some people choose to deal with it is what matters', is what the book truly stands for. 

There is an important clause in Aunt Dee's will which just wasn't getting any closer to completion as the book neared the end and I was anxious, because that was something that you can't just deal with in the last few pages! Turns out it has been left for the next book in the series! Which didn't make me particularly happy, but it's okay. The wait would be worth it! ;) I'd recommend this to anyone looking for a light yet meaningful contemporary read, it's easy and fast. Young Adult readers, Adult readers, anyone. There isn't any explicit content as such. 

Thank you B&H publishers for this book! :)

Review: Things We Never Say by Sheila O' Flanagan

Sheila O' Flanagan

Title: Things We Never Say... But Maybe We Should

Author: Sheila O' Flanagan

Published: June 2013 by Headline Publishing (Hachette)

Pages: 504

Find it at: Amazon

Genre: Family Drama/Fiction

My Rating: 4/5!

The sweet, simple cover of this new title by Sheila O' Flanagan, author of many bestsellers, gives off a nice, homey effect. It isn't too appealing, the kind you'd be attracted to in a bookstore, but maybe you might. It's something like a combination of look-at-me and something that can easily be overlooked, depending upon the person who's looking at it. I found it sweet, calm and simple. 

The Blurb!

Abbey Andersen is the last person to go looking for change. Yes, it's tough that she barely sees her mother these days - but in San Francisco she has great friends, a steady relationship and a job she enjoys. When Abbey is contacted by Irish lawyer Ryan Gilligan she learns in an instant everything she believed about her roots is a lie. She must travel to Dublin to find out more - but she's scarcely off the plane when she's plunged into a new crisis. One that will change everything not just for Abbey but for the family in Ireland who had no idea that she even existed. Now Abbey has to make a choice that will affect everyone she knows. How can she be sure she makes the right one? And can life ever be quite the same again?

My Thoughts!

Things We Never Say is a story based in Dublin, Ireland as well as in San Francisco. Abbey is a twenty-something girl living in San Francisco, away from her mother, working in an art gallery and then as a very talented nail artist. When she's contacted by Ryan Gilligan, a lawyer a very good-looking Irish lawyer  who's been looking for her mother, things change for Abbey as well as everyone involved in the family, a family she didn't even know existed. There is definitely drama, but the book isn't full of it. It's a big book with a storyline and many characters and it deals with the story at its own pace. I found it very detailed as far as the story and the characters are concerned. There's adequate background to every character so that you know them fully well before judging them for their actions. Even if you don't know initially, you get to know them over time and I found that really good. 

Initially it seems like the plot is dragging and there is some confusion due to different chapters telling stories about different characters and you can't figure out who is whom and what role they play in each others' lives. After about a 100 pages or so, you understand most of the linkages and you've been acquainted with everyone's introductions. That's when the plot seems to start developing pace. There are a series of events that take place in Abbey's life, she's confronted with information she finds hard to believe or deal with, she's already tense dealing with a broken relationship and career decisions and then she's faced with an entirely new set of problems. This is a family issue. She finds out she's related to another family in Ireland and there's a lot of conflict and drama as she tries to live with the the way her life takes turns. I took my sweet time reading this book. It wasn't gripping-engaging, but it was engaging enough to make you remember certain parts even after you've read them and to make you think of it when you're not reading. You can't "not" think much about it. 

I found the writing style simple and easy. It's got that flow which keeps you inside the story like you're a part of it. Once you're used to the different characters, it's easy to read about them and their actions one after the other. It's a big family with their problems and different views and lifestyles. The descriptive part is all cool. Neither too much, nor too little. Although I can't say that for when it comes to talking about the characters in the story. That is because I personally found it like a detailed account of 'people'. Every person was different, with their own story, their own reasons for being like they were. There are ego issues, under-confidence issues, trust issues and a lot of things. Why is it that you don't even say the things you mean to say to your loved ones? Why do you assume so much? Before you know it, you'll die without letting them know what you meant, what you really felt, leaving problems in their wake. 

I have to mention Abbey's character, which was so close to real that I just loved it! I found Abbey to be so much like me. Not in terms of physio-graphic stuff, but more so psychologically. She's confused and under-confident about her career and the way she feels when she says, 'I can't be the best artist, so I'll not do this' is so relate-able. I loved how she transformed and developed her confident personality with the support of all those who cared for her, became more assertive and open and learned to trust herself. There's a past involved, one which has been responsible for all the latest tension in the family, one which is disturbing, but those who're already dead. So how does it affect the ones who're having to face the consequences? Reaching the end of the book made up for all the drag that was in the beginning. It's an interesting end, the kind of which I like. ;) I marked a few lines from the books. Some of those are:

'It was funny, she thought, no matter how much you got over things that happened to you, you never forgot how people made you feel.'

'That was the trouble with looking back. You couldn't help doing it from the perspective of where you were now.' 

'She wondered how many people came home for a funeral and then had to face people they'd rather not bother having to talk to at all. And how many others felt cheated when someone died before they had a chance to say the things they'd always meant to say.'

'People can be very judgmental about religion. They can be equally judgmental about choices.'

'I can never leave a part of myself behind. Nobody can. Everything's that happened to us makes up who we are today.'

Recommended if you are interested in family drama and big, complete stories with a lot of different issues and messages.! :) 

Thank you Hachette publishers for this book! :)

What Meg Cabot book characters teach me! :)

This post is part of the Meg-a-Readers blog hop, hosted by Mandy at The Romance Bookie and Diana at Little Miss Drama Queen to celebrate Meg Cabot's two new releases! Awaken, the third book in the Abandon trilogy and another Heather Wells book, Size 12 is the New Black! For this post I've decided to mention some characters from the Meg Cabot books I've read and what I could learn from their personalities and behavior! ;) 

1. Mia Thermopolis (Princess Diaries series): You know how they say, some characters stay with you long after you've read a book? I haven't read all books in The Princess Diaries series. I started reading them late and I just didn't get to all of them, but I have always been in love with Amelia's character. For one, she is portrayed as just another ordinary girl (with the minor defect of her being a princess, yes) who has to deal with the usual high school problems. I could probably relate to her more because of my own inherent ability of being a klutz during all my waking moments, but I'm sure even for normal people, she's pretty much relate-able. 

Thinking of her character constantly reminds me to:

- Not bite my fingernails. Even fake ones.

- Not stare at a guy's lips, because your 'boyfriend' can possibly notice you noticing the other person's lips (not that I have a boyfriend, but still. Anyone observant enough can notice).

- Always wear nice pajamas during a sleepover.

- Be brave enough to refuse what you don't want to do, unless you're being threatened by a possible cousin who wants your throne.

- Pick up intelligent sounding words from smart friends like Lilly, and later look them up to improve your vocab.

- Be courteous to everyone, especially maids of honor. ;)

- Always smile. :)

2. Lilly Moscovitz (Princess Diaries series): Although she's the character opposite to how I could ever be, she did inspire me to:

- Speak my own thoughts without caring about what the rest of the population would think.

- Start using intelligent sounding words, because they can totally make your best friends think around in circles.

-  Have your own 'thing', something you regularly contribute to, like she has her own cable access TV show. I have my book blog. It kind of comes close. Okay it doesn't, but still. It's my 'thing'. ;)

- Be smart enough to guess whether or not your best friend is lying about their PMS status. Their crankiness could be a result of something really major. 

3. Michael Moscovitz (Princess Diaries series): What isn't there to learn from this guy? 

- Work for quirky magazines like Crackhead. 

- Play End of the World with sister's best friend, who happens to have a forever crush on you.

- Tell the aforementioned sister's best friend you love her too, through a cheesy poem flashing on the screen of a computer when she's trying to test your computer during the school fair.

- Love your crush's pet.

Oh Michael. ^_^

4. Heather Wells (Heather Wells series): When I read about her saying Size 12 is the size of the average American woman and one should not refer to size anyway, I loved her! Heather taught me to:

- Not believe in college kids' lame excuses for covering up dumb things and the mess they created.

- Having sugar-coated snacks everyday, even after wondering if it's not contributing to your size.

- Being independent, strong, and acting on intuition.

- Imagining yourself getting together with the guy you secretly love. Positive thinking makes it true.

- Keeping jealousy out of your mind when solving a suspicious case. 

5. Cooper Cartwright (Heather Wells series): I might be biased here, because Cooper Cartwright is my biggest fictional crush. 

- Stay calm in all situations. Even if it involves a death dormitory and your brother's ex.

- Don't give more than a passing glance to all girls, like creeps do. Keep your attitude, it makes you sexier.

- Keep details of work a secret even from your in-home accountant. Mysteriousness is a characteristic that makes you more appealing. ;)

- Get together with brother's ex, who secretly loves you too! 

- Follow your heart. Don't stick with family businesses if you think it's not your thing and you want to be a private investigator. Love your grandad, you don't know, he might leave you his brownstone apartment.  

5. Jean Honeychurch (Jinx): I like this clumsy girl, nicknamed 'Jinx' because she happens to bring bad luck (she doesn't).

- Self-confidence and will power.

- Not letting annoying and jealous cousins ruin your friendships.

- Always clearing a misunderstanding.

- Being brave and believing in witchcraft, however esoteric it might be.

6. Emerson Watts (Airhead trilogy): When you know you're not the girl everyone thinks you are, when you know your friends and the love of your life believe you to be dead, when you suspect a secret racket behind all the mysterious happenings and you still gotta cope with it and model on, I think you're really brave!

- Ordering banana splits whenever you or your friend feel low.

- Trying to control yourself seeing your love feeling angry and depressed and not being able to do anything about it.

- Putting self-obsessed people in their right place by putting their limo on fire.

- Never giving up on family.

- Making full use of technological devices when in a tight situation. They might be life-saving. 

I also wish to include Sam Madison from All American Girl who is one girl whose confidence is worth applauding. She's also one for standing up for herself and the truth. Pierce Olivera is a fighter, Tina Hakim Baba reads during lunch too, John Hayden is so persistent! Basically, I love all Meg Cabot characters, but these are those that stay with me. Which ones do you like? :)