Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Review: Click by Ori Brafman, Rom Brafman

Rom and Ori Brafman
Title: Click, The Magic of Instant Connections
Published: 2010 by Broadway Books (Random House)
Pages: 190
Genre: Non-Fiction, Psychology
My Rating: 3.5/5!

Goodreads Blurb!
You know the feeling. You meet someone new—at a party or at work—and you just hit it off. There is an instant sense of camaraderie.
 
In a word, you “click.”

 
From the bestselling authors of Sway, Click is a fascinating psychological investigation of the forces behind what makes us click with certain people, or become fully immersed in whatever activity or situation we’re involved in.   
 
From two co-workers who fall head over heels for each other while out to dinner and are married a month later (and fifteen years later remain just as in love), to a team of scientists who changed the world with the magic of their invention, these kinds of peak experiences, when our senses are completely focused on the moment, are something that individuals—and companies—strive to achieve. After all, when you’re in the “zone,” you’re happier and more productive. Why is it that we click in certain situations and with certain people, but not with others? Can this kind of magical connection be consciously encouraged?  Is there a way to create such peak experiences, whether on a date or in your job?  
 
According to Ori and Rom Brafman, there is. In a powerful, story-driven narrative that weaves together cutting-edge research in psychology and sociology, the Brafmans explore what it means to “click”: the common factors present when our brain and senses are fully engaged. They identify five “accelerators” that increase the likelihood of these kinds of magic connections in our work and relationships.
  
From actors vying for a role on a popular TV series to police officers negotiating with hostage takers, we learn how one can foster an environment where we can click with another person and shape our thinking, behavior, and emotions. 
 
A fascinating journey into how we engage with the world around us, Click will transform our thinking about those moments when we are in the zone and everything seems to fall into place.

My Thoughts!
Close your eyes for a few seconds and think about one person in your life with whom you share a special bond, someone you met and 'clicked' with. Most probably instantly. Someone whom you saw and realized you have something in common, if not something in common, you'd feel a sense of being connected to them somehow. There is/was at least one person you thought of, right? Probably you're best friends now, or that's how you felt about your partner when you first met, or your colleague you get along well with, or even the security guard you wish a 'Goodmorning' to every day. This book is all about such connections, the basis behind this wonderful phenomenon, numerous studies and their results, real-life examples, reasons and logic as to how we connect and how we can make them stronger. 

The book starts with making the reader aware of this 'magic', describing in detail the euphoric sensation we experience when we click with someone and the pleasure center of our brain lights up! This makes the reader first build a connection and 'click' with the book itself, before we read any further. I remember when I began reading, I found it so amazing that I had immediately texted another reader-friend that I'd love this book! I could relate to it from the beginning. How cool is that? :D  Supported by numerous fantastic examples, the book explores the topics of vulnerability and how it builds trust, the power of proximity, resonance, similarity, environment, some people who are naturals and how this quick-set intimacy is capable of bringing out the best in us! 

"In the magic of the moment, we tend to see the person with whom we click in the best possible light. He or she, in turn, sees us in a similar light, and being seen that way makes a world of difference."

This is one of the best topics covered by the book, which has the most practical use for the most common of readers. I did have people in my mind with whom I connect well with while reading and when I got to this topic, about how we are better able to bring out the best in ourselves and in each other because we're more motivated to perform well, I realized how true it is! It works so neatly at the subconscious level that you wouldn't even realize it's happening. And when you realize how big a potential it has, it makes you want to work even harder because you're the most comfortable with those whom you click with and you can explore without any inhibitions. One of the best examples about this "Personal Elevation" in the book is that of Peter Mathews and Linda Schele who met in Planeque while wandering around in the jungles; Peter, a 21 year old working on a project involving identifying Maya hieroglyphics, Linda, an impulsive girl on an impromptu Christmas trip to Mexico to study Maya art (they met at a conference in Planeque). They clicked as soon as they met and in the last couple of hours after the three day conference was about to end, they decided to have a go at cracking the ancient writings, which experts had been trying to decipher since decades! Within those two hours in close proximity, they felt so charged up and elevated that they actually cracked the codes! They interpreted the writings successfully and broke two hundred years of history. How awesome?

Now, for a reader, the book's writing is quite simple and easy to understand. Even though it has a psychology background, there are no specific roll-your-tongue terms used and anyone with a non-psych background can read and understand the concepts easily (although I admit. Since I have studied a bit of it in college, it was pretty much easy to read in a flow without looking up any terms! :D And I have a similar class to the one described in Stanford's MBA program. *feels like Bond* ). The examples are plenty and very well explained, though in some places you might feel like they're going on and on about the same thing. Sometimes it feels repetitive, but I guess the concepts overlap because they're not really homogeneous. 

Recommended: This is a beautiful book if you want to understand the concepts of interpersonal relations and their practical use in the most simple ways. It doesn't even feel like a burdensome, educational book. It's fun and the examples would help you connect. Personally I found myself looking at my relations with others and to understand why I don't click with certain people. And how I could improve on it! 

Thank you Random House publishers for this book! :)  


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