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| Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche |
Author: Dzogchen Ponlop
Published: Tarcher / Penguin
Release Date: 19 April, 2016
Pages: 180
Find it at: Amazon
Emotional Rescue, as the detailed title suggests, deals with the subject of emotions and how one can use emotions to live meaningfully and happily. So many times we get swayed by emotions and often wish we hadn’t done what we end up doing. The book looks at emotions in a very positive way, and explains not only how emotions work and affect us, but also how one can use them to transform their outlook.
Emotional Rescue, as the detailed title suggests, deals with the subject of emotions and how one can use emotions to live meaningfully and happily. So many times we get swayed by emotions and often wish we hadn’t done what we end up doing. The book looks at emotions in a very positive way, and explains not only how emotions work and affect us, but also how one can use them to transform their outlook.
The process seems simple, like most important
things are. It has been broadly divided into three phases (or steps) that not
only help you understand your emotions better but also, if you use this
knowledge and practice it, to be more aware of them when they come up, and
being able to work with them effectively (which here means being able to
control your 'reaction', in word, action and thought, to those emotions). The
three steps are:
1. Mindful Gap: Look – The first step
deals with making oneself 'aware' of emotions as they rise. Observing them.
Trying not to react as soon as you feel something. As we pause, it creates a
gap or space, even if it is for a second, which gives time for emotions to run
their course and give one enough breathing room. Being more mindful/watchful of
what we do and what we feel brings clarity and makes one more attentive. The
book tells us how to bring about this 'mindful gap'. It is more about attaining
self-knowledge than anything else, and oh, how that helps!
2. Clear Seeing: Explore-- It is about
getting to the big picture once you've seen the individual things in step 1.
You are aware of not only what you feel but also what else is around you and
how you affect them. When you begin seeing the big picture, you form patterns
in your relationships (those formed with the world). You are able to 'see' the
impact of those emotions as and when they rise, and you can respond more
skilfully to what's happening around. It involves a good deal of reflection so
you also see the hidden emotions.
3. Letting Go: Relax-- This is about the
practice of letting go of your negative emotions. It is not about rejecting
your feelings and emotions, or avoiding them, but to welcome them as they are
while being aware of them and knowing what they are (step 1 and 2). How can you
look at so much energy (because that's what it is) as a potential creative one?
You'll find ideas and steps you can take to avoid unnecessary confrontations--at home or at work. There are tips for dealing with difficult people and with conflicts in relationships. The author encourages you to look at emotions in a healthy way, step back from them in the process, but also to keep them as a creative force.
You'll find ideas and steps you can take to avoid unnecessary confrontations--at home or at work. There are tips for dealing with difficult people and with conflicts in relationships. The author encourages you to look at emotions in a healthy way, step back from them in the process, but also to keep them as a creative force.The situations described are easy to understand and universally relatable. When you're in the first phase of the book, you're drawn into it, nodding your head at nearly every page because you GET IT. You are shown what you can be, how you can help yourself, what the ideal situation is, but it takes some more time (and pages) to actually get down to it. However, that's a pattern. Don't stop reading, but be persistent. The author is first ensuring that you are made aware of your emotions enough before spoonfeeding you the correct dose.
But again, I find there is no 'correct dose' for
such things. It mostly depends on how you see it or how you work with it. I'm
glad the author points that out too. There are no views of an ideal situation
without being realistic; it could take a lot of time and practice, because
emotions are such difficult things to deal with (at least that is how we see
them). The author mentions early on how we tend to assume ‘emotions’ as negative.
There are positive ones too, but because the negative ones cause us most distress,
the book talks about those.
The book then goes on to suggest exercises
to get you to follow the three steps. Those exercises are mostly to make you
aware of yourself, but they are very much workable. They are detailed, and not
exactly a step-by-step 'how to' process, but by making you reflect and get in
that mind frame. There's a Part 2 of the book that talks about a Buddhist
approach to emotions, which is similar to what has been described in the book
but talks about it from the perspective of Buddhism.
Emotional Rescue encourages you to think,
reflect, re-read and search for answers within yourself instead of hand-holding
you through the process. It will help you identify your emotions, especially
the ones that disturb you, help you think about them in a useful way, to begin
to see them in a clear light, and tell you what to do with them. That's as much
as a book, text or lecture can do. I'm quite glad that, like a lot of self-help/philosophy books do, it does not loudly proclaim that you can win at life if you do
so-and-so things. In a very real way, it 'helps'. That is what one actually
needs.
The writing style is clear, easy to
understand, and very engaging. There's not much you will find out of your
range. The book is also not too long. There's only so much you can talk about
emotions, and explaining in detail the three steps I mentioned above. It can be
read in a flow without seeming to get boring, which is a rare thing for books
in this category (or maybe I was too keen to know how to be emotionally
rescued, the topic being close to home and all). I thought of it as a positive
coincidence that I got this book just when I could do with some guidance on the
emotions front. I joked, "If this book helps me, it'll get a 5 star
rating." That was a funny idea, but a novice one. Like the author
suggests, transformation cannot happen suddenly. You have to practice these
steps. BUT. Ever since I started reading it (not only when I finished it,
mind), I have been able to pause and reflect before reacting, and thus have had
minor confrontations where otherwise there might have been huge blow-ups. I think
that’s a start. I plan to follow the ideas and exercises mentioned in this
book, and will add later what came out of it!
Recommended for: Anyone looking to learn
more about emotions and how you can regain control of them. Suitable for all
ages—early teens to major adults.
About the author: Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche is a leading Buddhist teacher in North America. Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche was recognized by His Holiness the Dalai Lama and His Holiness the 16th Gyalwang Karmapa as a reincarnate lama of the Nyingma tradition. He is the founder and president of Nalandabodhi, an international network of Buddhist study and meditation centers, and of Nitartha International. Rinpoche is most active at Nalanda West, in Seattle, Washington, which offers public programs by teachers from many traditions that support a meaningful, contemplative life. His previous books include Rebel Buddha: A Guide to a Revolution of Mind.
Note: This book was received from the
publisher in exchange for an honest review.
